Something to Think About….

The other day I had the privilege of working with a Mother of the Bride who is on a transplant waiting list. She was a tall beautiful woman. Her wedding is 10 months away. Seldom do I run across a person with such clarity and serenity. I couldn’t help but compare her to so many of the women in our store who were shackled by stress, obsessiveness, insecurity and fear. The irony struck me. 

This woman tried on two of the three dresses I brought her. Both dresses allowed for any possible swelling after the transplant and allowed for the pump she wore. She took a picture of one and sent it to her husband and her daughter. She smiled and told me that he was happy to come along with her but that she knew he would be happier at home. I laughed, because I have witnessed countless men over the years pacing back and forth like caged animals in a ladies dress shop. Both her husband and daughter sent back immediate responses like “You’ve never looked so beautiful!” and “ Wow! Two thumbs up!” – indicating to me the close family bond.

Over the years we have noticed that decisiveness like that is usually reserved for paramedics, neonatal specialists, ER doctors and nurses, Life flight helicopter specialists, judges and suicide crisis hotline counselors. When I commended her on her excellent decision making capabilities, she again smiled and said “when you’re in my kind of situation, you learn to live in the moment.” She affected me in a profound way. The store was filled with people who thought they had problems, yet she appeared to be the happiest and most content of all. I awoke the next morning still thinking of her, thankful for the privilege of meeting her. 




  1. Nancy D says:

    My future daughter-in-law wants me to wear pink. Because the wedding colors are red and green. I am a winter and I do not look good in pink or light colors. What can you tell me that I can tell her. I do not want to cause a problem but I just don’t like that color for me. Please help. Thank you,

    • tcarolynfashions says:


      This is a great question, one I deal with on a daily basis.

      I know how difficult it can be to broach this topic with your daughter-in-law to be. There are two ways you can appeal to her. One is analytically and the other is emotionally. You may end up using both.

      The Analytic Way –
      Ostensibly, if the bride is dictating colors, it’s because she wants the wedding to look good and the pictures to look good. Explain to the bride that A) pink is not a good color on you, B) pink doesn’t photograph well in general and C) pink isn’t a good color choice with red and green.

      Supporting details:
      You can tell the bride that you are a winter and don’t look good in pale pink. You can also tell her that pale pink is quite matronly on and doesn’t photograph well, as pale pink tends to make most women look washed out in photos. In addition, any detailing (pleats, beading, etc.) on the dress will not be picked up in the pictures. African American women typically fair the best in this color, as it’s a contrast to their skin tone. As an aside, most wedding photographers don’t recommend wearing pale pink.

      I also believe that pink will clash with her red and green. Green is a neutral color but red does not blend well with pinks and wine colors. In addition, red and green are strong colors and jewel tone colors will be a much better pairing with the colors she has chosen. Happily for you, jewel tone colors are also your best colors if you are a winter.

      The Emotional Way –
      Tell the bride that you don’t like the way you look in pale pink and don’t feel comfortable in this color. Tell her it’s important to you that you feel good that day. Remind her that it’s a big day for you too, as everyone you know and love will be there watching you walk down the aisle as well. By the way, as Mother of the Groom you will be the first one down the aisle.

      When you find a dress you’d like to wear to the wedding, tell her you love it and feel good in it. Draw a line in the sand. Hopefully she will respect that.

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